The previews before the movie were significant because I was more interested in the release dates, wondering if I'd still be here when they came out. It felt unfair to be enticed by a movie and it crossed my mind several times wondering if there was a way I could get an early screening so I wouldn't miss it before I have to leave.
We are having the Utah Thanksgiving here next Saturday because we will be going to Portland to spend it with my side of the family. Last night we were finalizing those plans. You know, who was all coming, what the menu will look like, and what people will be bringing.
The Christmas holiday was also discussed. Since we will be leaving Christmas morning - again to spend the holiday with my family in Portland after an early celebration in Utah and going directly from there to Florida, we wondered about the value of putting up a tree here in Utah. Ive been advocating against a tree but last night I changed my mind.
At the current trajectory in my health, it is highly unlikely that I will get to celebrate another holiday season. I've been trying to come up with a word that describes how I feel about that. I don't think sad is the word I'd use. It's more a feeling of inevitability that carries heaviness with it and leads to a melancholy.
So let's put up the tree. It's Joseph's act of love and it seems silly to deprive him of that.
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